Armchair Parenting

Debating things with people online and in real life lead me to have opinions on things I probably shouldn't have. I am not a parent, I probably will never be a parent, but I know a thing or two about people, and children, as I am a person, and was a child, I am by no means an expert. But this is my blog dammit, so these are my opinions on parenting.

An exerpt from a forum posting of mine on a political forum, modified slightly:

"The sooner a child is introduced to the concept of death with no censure, the better that child will be able to cope with death as an adult.
If/when I am a parent, my child will be exposed to all the sexual CONTENT, violent content, and death s/he wants."

"Agreed..to a point. I don't think it's good for 7 year olds to see a f*ck 'n' s*ck or watch movies like Platoon or Braveheart. You have to draw the line somewhere, and in this case I think it's better to explain death as it comes in real life as opposed to relying on media to portray it."

"Naturally, I would not expose my child to something I don't think they are ready for. I don't know what educational content "suck 'n' f**k" has for a child, real sex is not like porno sex, real violence is not like movie violence, real death is not like movie death. I think these are points that need to be made very clear to a child.

So while I don't think a 7 year old needs "suck 'n' f**k", because it's completely non-educational, I'd be fine with showing them an educational film about REAL sex, or showing them a movie that has sex in it, but is not the main plot of the movie.

I have absolutely no reservations when it comes to nudity, if I were going to a skyclad(clothing optional) fire/drum circle, I'd have no problem taking my any-age child to have fun dancing or drumming, because nudity does not equal sex. "

"I think the difference between fiction and real life needs to be made very clear to children, for their own good;

Girls need to be told that the women on the cover of magazines and on shows are not normal, they need to be told that models, and porn stars are airbrushed,
labias do not look like they do in real life as they look in pornos.

Young boys need to know that being macho, and doing stupid, risky s**t is not what makes you a man, they need to know that real, heterosexual sex, that is enjoyable by both parties, is not as it is in pornos, their value as a man is not dependent on their ability, or preference to be a breadwinner.

Both need to know that guns, and other weapons, as well as violence is only for self-defense, or defense of another person from physical harm or death.

They need to know that sex is only for when they are physically mature enough for it (around 16), and they must always use protection, be it anal, vaginal, oral, no ifs, ands or buts.

They need to know that death is a part of life, and without death, life would have no value.

They must know that death from old age is never something to be sad about, that person lived a long life and had the opportunity for a full life.

They need to know that premature death is tragic, and something to mourn, but is something that can never be eliminated, so there's little reason not to have fun with the life you have, even if you take a few reasonable risks in enjoying that life.

They need to know that it's OK to be gay, straight, bi, or something else entirely, it's OK to be a boy or a girl, a man or a woman, or something else entirely, it's OK to have an interest or a fetish that is unusual, so long as it does not hurt themselves or others against their will, more importantly, we as adults, and parents, need to be OK with children being such things, and making such choices.

We need to be prepared to let our children make their own decisions, as that is part of becoming a responsible adult.

We need to be able to find an appropriate balance between letting them fail, and letting them learn from our mistakes and advice.

We should be mindful not to coddle them or treat them as children, or they will act childish.

They should work for what they get, and not be spoiled, even if we have the capacity to give things to them freely.

We should not be afraid to spank our children and discipline them physically if other methods of discipline are ineffective.

We should save our anger for later, and not hold onto it or let it affect us while we are disciplining physically."